Many internet dating sites are adding the ability for members to attach a short video to their profiles. We're amazed at just how bad some of these videos are, so we decided to write this article to help.
Before we get in the details, remember shorter is better. Instead of saying "umm" every six seconds - it is better to have a video with a short script, something like: "Hi, my name is Mike, I'm 28 years old and would love to meet you!. That's it. Now, remember, you can't smile too much for the camera. It feels odd, but you must smile at the beginning, end and at each pause. Next, wash your face, comb your hair and put on a nice shirt!
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Here are a few tips to help you set up, direct and create your video intro.
- First, you need a video camera that can record movie files to your hard drive. If you own a digital camera, it may already have this capability, so check the instructions. If you don’t have a digital camera, you can pick up a “web cam” which can be used to create your video profile and later for video conferencing - something many of the dating sites are now enabling.
- Once you’ve got your camera set up and working, make a few short videos, to familiarize yourself with lighting, location, audio and image quality. Nobody is expecting a Grammy-winning performance here, but you should try to make a video that is pleasant to watch and easy to hear.
- Next, work out a script so you have some idea what to say once the camera’s rolling. Introduce yourself, don’t forget to SMILE, and then say a little about yourself and your interests. Write your lines on a big card that you can put outside the camera range, but that you can see easily if you need prompting.
- Use discretion and good taste. This is a basic introduction, not a steamy come-on. Your video should not contain anything that would embarrass you if your friends, your family or your boss were to watch it.
- Rehearse until you sound spontaneous. This may seem like a contradiction, but unless you’re that rare person who’s comfortable in any social situation, you’ll need to practice. If it helps, try to imagine yourself feeling confident and comfortable as you introduce yourself to someone whose personality and “presence” puts you at ease.
- Use a timer or a stopwatch to keep yourself within the time limits for the site where you’ll be posting your video. Pace yourself appropriately – don’t talk so fast that people will have trouble understanding you, but avoid “dead air” or long pauses.
- If you’re nervous, or feel silly talking to yourself, wait until you have some privacy. Or, see if you and a friend can team up to produce each others’ videos.
- The area where you’ll be shooting should not compete with your message. Tidy up the room, close the curtains and closet doors, point the camera and really take a look at what’s in the picture behind you. You want people to be looking at you, not at the weird stuff in the background. That includes people, pets, televisions, computer monitors, wall decorations, posters, windows, doorways, mirrors and any kind of distracting junk.
- When you feel you’re ready to make your video, spend some time to really look your best. Dress to impress: your clothing should flatter you. Your hair should be neatly styled. Teeth and skin should be sparkling. Use makeup where necessary, to hide blemishes and bring out your best features.
- Experiment with lighting. You don’t need expensive photographer’s lamps – the light from a window, a desk lamp or even a strong flashlight can do a very effective job, Ideally, your face should be lit from above, a little to one side. Avoid harsh shadows by balancing a strong light on one side with a softer light coming from the opposite direction. Avoid lighting your face from below – it looks creepy. And don’t shine the light straight into your face – it will emphasize wrinkles around your eyes, and it gives you a flat, washed-out look.
- Let the cameras roll! Make sure you’re recording, do one last technical check, look in the mirror one more time, and go for it. Don’t be too much of a perfectionist – go ahead and do it over if you aren’t happy with the first take, but don’t obsess over every little blooper.
- When you’re done, use the video editing software that came with your camera to trim your video to the required time, then save and upload your video by following the instructions on the web site that will be hosting it for you.
Videos are a fun way to introduce yourself to others. They add warmth and interaction to your profile, and they convey your personality in ways that are much easier to communicate than text and still pictures. The cost is minimal, and the results can be very rewarding.
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